Small Town Minds

This whole page was just a trick to get you to move here and be eternally bored. you clicked outside of the pictures and now you're forced to know that none of the information on this page is accurate, FDA approved, has passed health inspection, or even exists. It's all in your head and we control it now.... actually we just live in a small town and have nothing else to do so we live in the stories we make up and create faux web sites about them. Scary, isn't it?? And now you can be one of us, living with the other 23 people in this town, waiting in vain to see if the rain will ever stop (no it won't hahahahahhahahaa), and you can't escape now because you clicked on the clouds!!!

So if you actually wanted to have something to read, our company will republish a story written by a made-up person. We won't even ask them for rights to print it, because who's going to know? We don't really exist, we're just in your head and you're only reading this because you're really bored.

Once about 30 years ago, there was a huge city full of lights and skyscrapers and loud music and partying all night. College people (they didn't actually go to college, they just partied like college people and were somewhere around that age) lived in teepees in richer people's backyards and ate mushrooms and sat around for days just thinking, or just letting their minds go blank and being at peace. Then they partied for days, going to concerts, moshing, performing even though they didn't know how to play any instruments, and whatever else they did that people in this small town wouldn't know anything about because all we have is a run down post office and a bank that just got robbed. So then all these people grew up and put on business suits and had briefcases glued to their hands and began to think things like stock and debates between republican and democrat and catholicism and buddhism mattered to the point of life depending on them.

These people had children and were always yelling at them because they were cooler than they used to be. The people in business suits would gripe at them about their crazy hair, leather, spikes, peace and anarchy philosophy, and wanting to actually do something fun. Their kids would say "Hey, you went to Woodstock, why can't I go to just a 2 day concert with only 40 of my friends?" Nothing made sense anymore and everyone seemed to be hypocrites. So the government (yes there was a government, but we don't know who) stepped in and locked all the kids up in a place somewhat like Alcatraz or Australia (but don't compare this place to Australia, Aussies ROCk!!) and isolated them from anything fun, entertaining, or even slightly colorful. They turned the place black and white, and all of the children of the conservative ex-hippies began to laugh less and less, even smile less, and began to fade to gray. These people then applied for jobs in the 3 mall shops this town had, fogetting their hopes of travelling the world, climbing mountains, and living life to the fullest. They stayed in these jobs the rest of their lives, only looking forward to the weekends off so they could invite company over to discuss politics or how much money they were making or something else in which they never once smiled. If you haven't gotten the point of this story, we'll tell you:

That town is still here and we're broadcasting straight from there today (we have the only computer with internet access in the whole town, it's why our business is so popular). We have been living their for 16 years observing and thinking, writing to our director and making movies to enhance understanding and soon the facts will be upon the outside world, which will suddenly decide to change drastically. I'm guessing everyone will move to Australia so they can talk cooler.