Here are the films currently in theaters near you (this means there is actually only one copy of each of these in the entire universe and it's on the bookshelf of our director/cameraman/soundperson/multitask individual gathering dust.)
This movie is garunteed to be famous because it stars Paul, Nick, Chris and some other guy who does a lot of skateboarding tricks that suck and we forget his name anyway. See how boring skaters actually are, unless of course you're a skater and you're buying something from us, then we would never make fun of you.
This is an instructional video featuring none other than Betsy somebody. We don't know, we just picked her up off the street, but her skating seemed kind of realistic. Well not really. But this movie's a joke anyway.
If you're actually such a wannabe that you buy this movie to try to be cool, you and the girl in "How to Be a Punk" have a lot in common. The star uses Village People, Sugar Ray, and other lame bands in the movie, pretending they're punks.
San
Francisco
An
actual video of our director's trip to San Francisco to visit our
company headquarters (doesn't exist). In his movie the story is
told with a soundtrack that isn't all punk rock classics but the
music fits. So buy it.
Buy the soundtrack too! Just send us your credit card and you'll
either get the CD plus a $500,000,000 credit card debt or we'll
be arrested on our way to Hawaii. Or both.
The shocking reality of the Old-Time Fiddler's Contest in Weiser, Idaho. Actaully there is no real footage of the contest, but there are a lot of good shots of stand up basses and fiddler jams (hardcore punk fiddle jams of course).
After watching her witch project, you have to wonder if this movie is all just a coverup. In the 2 episodes we've made, Edna does pretty much nothing except change her 4 faces, eat frosting, drive in her car that makes weird noises, and sleep. She also beats up a nun, but it's OK cos the nun is plastic and it shoots sparks out of it's mouth. It's also an impersonator named Bruce.
This is a film showing how the crop circle in the middle of the lower campus field of this small town was actaully made. Unfortunately, the truth of the matter isn't as interesting as you might have thought- it wasn't a UFE, it was a labyrinth for Da Vinci Days. You can actually buy this movie once it has been edited and thousands of copies have been made.
OK it's a fake, but you only know that if you read down this far. If you're the kind of person who would do that, you can have some useless information about our film crew. (All names have been changed either to protect the innocent or because everyone is in the federal witness protection program).
Producer. . . . . . . . . . Drew Carter
Lighting. . . . . The sun that's never out so it doesn't deserve any credit
Music. . . . . . .Provided by Chainsaw Records
(currently guilty of copyright infringement so don't try to hire them) who were supposed to give us a soundtrack of punk rock classics, but we ended up with songs from The Gray Race, Hellbound, Hello Rockview, And Out Come the Wolves, and other nonsequitor songs (courtesy of Non Sequitor music)
Actors. . . A lot of talented people
(who probably don't want their names associated with this company if they have any hope of getting acting jobs with big companies later on. We know our company's the best there is, it's just no one else will admit it)
Email us NOW!!