Facing Obstacles
By: Dr. Molly Mitchell National Edition

May 12, 2000

So, you read my last article and you've decided you want to make a change. You're even willing to give it 30 days. Good for you! Time to say goodbye to a bad habit or hello to a new skill. But wait, what did you say? It's impossible? You'll never get there? Just hold on thereyou've got this great plan, but before you even start, all you can see are the problems.

This is not unusual. Another name for these problems is obstacles. Obstacles are the things that stand between our goals and us. They can be small and they can seem huge. They come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes we can see them and sometimes they are invisible. Very often, when there is something we would really like to have or achieve, there is an obstacle in the way.

For example; you want to give up smoking, but all your friends smoke. You can't make your friends stop, but you can stop hanging out with them at the times they smoke. Or chew gum instead. You want to get an 'A' in English, but you just never come close. The teacher just doesn't understand, you say. You can't just make her change her grades for you until you prove that you deserve it. Maybe you need to meet with her and get specific feedback about what you can do better. Maybe you need some tutoring. Maybe you need to spend more time in the library in the first place.

When you catch yourself moaning about how hard something is, ask yourself: are the valuable things in life ever easy to come by? If they were, they wouldn't be so special. Do top athletes like working out every day? You can bet they like the million dollar salaries, but have you ever thought about working out for hours at a time every day? Do medical students enjoy studying non-stop for years on end? The reward comes from saving lives and making a difference, but the hard work has to come first. Just because it's not easy, does not mean you should give up. Sometimes liking something isn't the point. The point is what you will gain.

One of the most important things to think about when facing an obstacle is to only take on those things that you can control. Avoid worrying about the things you cannot control. You can't stop the rain so there's no point getting upset about it. But you can control how you deal with it.

You are always in control of yourself and your reactions. You may be afraid of an obstacle. It may seem insurmountable, but you decide what to do. Never let your fears make your decisions. Otherwise, you have given up control.

So, now is the time to make that obstacle-busting plan.

1. Size it up. What is your goal and what is in the way?

2. Ask yourself if this obstacle is something you can control.

3. Make a plan to overcome this obstacle. Break it down into small, bite-size chunks.

4. Do one step at a time.

5. Remember to look back once in a while and revel in how far you have come.