Personal Safety
By: Dr. Molly Mitchell National Edition

September 12, 2000

In the last article, we spent some time thinking about violence. I think for this time, it is important to consider personal safety. When I say personal safety, you probably immediately hear your mother's voice in your head, telling you not to take candy from strangers, or not to go strange places in the dark. These are very valid points, but there is more to keeping yourself safe.

Personal safety has many avenues. There is the matter of keeping yourself physically safe from harm. You are also entitled to be free from emotional and verbal harm.

There are, of course, professionals whose job it is to be worried about our safety, police, fire fighters and the like. But, unless we hire full-time bodyguards, we have to do a lot of the work for ourselves. You should always know that there are people to turn to when you are in trouble. There is always someone to call, at the end of a hotline, or go see, at school, the police station, or a hospital. But, in the meantime, there are things you can do to maintain your own safety.

We'll start with the obvious issue of physical safety. A lot of personal safety is common sense, so use it! And trust those creepy suspicions when you get them. At least check them out, look over your shoulder, make sure you get directions before you set out for somewhere new, or take a friend. Walk with confidence, and not with a Walkman, keep your eyes and ears alert. Keep your hands free to do what they may need to do. Have a plan for what you might do if something ever happens to you. If you are quick, plan to run. If you're strong, hit and hit hard. And everyone should practice his or her best, loudest, most cringe-worthy shriek. They say shouting 'FIRE' is the best way to get attention, but yell whatever you feel like.

A short course in fending off personal attacks is not a bad idea -- take some friends and make a day of it. There is nothing like actually getting the chance to hit and kick someone else (a trained professional, in this case) to actually prepare you for the real thing. Very few of us need to physically attack someone in our everyday lives, and the shock of actually needing to protect yourself can cause you to freeze. And this is one case where you don't want to do that.

Now, the trickier issue of emotional safety. People do not have the right to talk to you in ways that make you feel unsafe, threatened or scared. This can be as frightening as being physically attacked, and do not hesitate to state your feelings plainly and clearly, or just walk away. There is no shame in walking away from a fight or situation that 'just doesn't seem right'.

If someone wants you to do something that you are not comfortable with, no matter who they are, don't do it. If someone says something rude, demeaning or threatening, ignore him or her and get yourself some support. It's not always easy to stick up for yourself, but you deserve it. If a situation just doesn't feel right, take control of it and yourself.

So, the personal safety plan:

1. Think about your own strengths, and make a plan to use them.

2. Think about taking a personal safety class.

3. Trust your instincts and act on them.

4. Remember that you deserve to feel safe, secure and confident.