Violence
By: Dr. Molly Mitchell National Edition

August 18, 2000

There is a lot of violence in today's world. This is a sad, but true, fact. Some of us have encountered more of it than others, but none of us can escape it in the news, on television, even in songs. What would you do if you had to deal with it in your own life?

Violence happens for many reasons, and gets expressed in many ways. The most obvious ways are the ones that end up in the headlines. Guns, gang warfare, deaths and more. These are also, thankfully, the most rare occurrences of violence. Violence happens all too often behind closed doors. Violence is not always physical, but can also be threatening or emotional. It can happen between people who love one another. We can also be violent to ourselves. Suicide and self-harm are violent acts turned inwards, toward the self.

Why does violence happen? For as many acts of violence that exist, there are as many individual explanations. But, generally, there are a few broad ways to understand violence. It is an expression of feeling. These feelings have gotten out of control and the person feels desperate to release them. Violence is also manipulative. It is a way to control others. It is used in retaliation, to get back at someone else. In each of these cases, the violence can occur in many ways, internally or externally; random or carefully planned.

Some people wear their violence like armor. You can recognize it in the ways they speak, the language they use and the ways they interact with others on a daily basis. Other people become more violent when they drink or use drugs. The substance acts as a way to let down a person's guard, and allows rageful feelings to be released.

Violent people are not necessarily bad people. They can be people you love and care about. They just have difficulty when it comes to appropriately expressing their emotions. And they are doing so in ways that violate the rights of others, and/or hurt themselves. There can be help for violent people, but to do so, someone will need to get in touch with a professional. And often, the violent people themselves will not do this. If someone you know is violent, get help.

It is important to protect yourself from violence. There are cases in which you have no control. Sudden, random things do happen. But, if you have any suspicion about a person, or are being hurt in any way already, tell someone. You deserve safety. You deserve to be treated with respect. It is against the law for anyone to inflict violence, of any sort, on you.

If you think that you are prone to violence, then ask for help. It is normal to feel anger, disappointment or frustration, but these do not justify being violent with others. With some assistance, you can learn to express yourself and be heard, so you stop feeling so frustrated. Maybe you need some help learning to listen to others so you don't jump to conclusions. Maybe you have learned to use violence through your own life experiences, and don't know how else to make yourself heard. Help can change all of this.